


da mi basia mille, deinde centum

by Neuqe



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Communication, Fluff, M/M, Other characters get mentioned, mostly just fluff, post 2x02, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29048373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neuqe/pseuds/Neuqe
Summary: “I’m sorry I brought up meeting your parents the other day,” he murmurs.He groans softly, dragging his hand along his face. “That wasn’t my finest moment."
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 35
Kudos: 238





	da mi basia mille, deinde centum

The loss of losing Tim has weighed heavily on all of them, and TK suspects it will take a lot more time for the wound of the sudden loss to heal, and to be honest, he thinks they will never go back to being the same as they were before his death.

His mind finally starts to feel less foggy after a couple of days, even though the grief doesn’t magically evaporate into nothingness. Still, when the initial shock fades, he starts to notice new things about the life around him and appreciate every day and moments of happiness a little more than before.

Obviously, he has always known their jobs are full of uncertainty and danger, but it still feels different when it hits so close to home. He cannot even comprehend what it felt like for Judd to lose his entire crew at once.

The days have felt impossibly slow, and he has spent most of them at Carlos’ place since all of them were ordered to take a few days off. He has seen his crew a couple of times, but otherwise, they have all founded own ways to cope with the loss.

He is more grateful than ever for Carlos’ silent support and small gestures that let him know that he is there for him.

He is still at Carlos’, and he hasn’t asked him to leave, so he has stayed. He knows he could go home, but if he is being completely honest, he has grown to prefer his place, and most importantly, being around him. He is already in bed, lying underneath the thick duvet and staring at the ceiling as he listens to the sounds that Carlos makes as he brushes his teeth in the adjacent bathroom.

It feels so domestic and comforting, but TK cannot help but let his mind wander back to the conversation they had at his dad’s remission party. He has meant to bring it up with him again, but his mind has been a little occupied and Carlos’ dodging replies were not at the top of his priority list.

Carlos walks into the bedroom and collapses next to him. He settles the pillow into a different position and glances at him, flashing a soft smile. TK bites his lower lip and pokes him in the arm.

“I’m sorry I brought up meeting your parents the other day,” he murmurs.

He groans softly, dragging his hand along his face. “That wasn’t my finest moment,” he says, his eyes locked into the ceiling.

“You mean the old ‘I pretend I didn’t hear what you said and use a lousy excuse to escape’ technique?” He asks, chuckling slightly. He holds his thumb and index finger close together. “That was just a little bit suspicious, babe.”

Carlos lets out a long and deep exhale. “Yeah.”

He runs his fingers slowly along his tricep, up and down. “I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything you don’t feel ready for.”

He has to admit, he was a little surprised by his reaction. Sure, he had been amused by his poor distraction, but still, mostly he was flabbergasted. He never would have guessed that family would be a soft spot for him.

He knows he gets along with all of them well, and his mom calls him at least once a week, and his house is filled with pictures of his family, parents and siblings. He guesses that if the issue is not with the family, then it must be with him, and the thought of that makes his chest feel heavier than he would like.

It brings certain sense of unease to him.

“I know,” he replies, softly, and looks at him instead of the ceiling. “It’s—just a big deal for me.”

TK nods as well as he can against the fluffy pillow. It makes sense. His family is important to him, he knows that much, and he loves them fiercely, and him meeting them obviously would be a lot. He gets that and he suspects that Carlos values their opinion a lot, too.

He cannot shake the thought of that he is reluctant of them meeting up because Carlos thinks they would disapprove of him. It is an ugly feeling, and he doesn’t want to think that way, because he didn’t straight up imply that would be the case.

“I get that,” he says, “and I don’t mind. They’re your parents, so it’s completely up to you.”

Despite his whirlpool of a mind, it is the truth. It had been only an idea he threw in the air because it felt like a next logical step in their relationship. Carlos has met both of his parents, but he supposes that is half out of necessity and circumstances.

He doesn’t even know if he met him or his dad first, and he couldn’t avoid meeting his mom when he visited their place when he was still recovering from the gunshot wound. Still, he likes that he has met them and they both completely adore Carlos, which isn’t even a surprise.

He is exactly the type of person every parent wants their child to bring home. He is compassionate, polite, kind and he could charm the birds out of a tree if he wanted to.

Carlos turns on his side and his face softens when he is facing him. “Thank you, and my reluctance has nothing to with you.”

His brown eyes are glistering with affection, and TK cannot help but mirror his soft smile.

“So, you’re not embarrassed of me,” he blurts out.

He definitely didn’t mean to say it aloud. He is just tired, and he has been wallowing on the idea of Carlos not wanting to introduce him to his family a little longer than he should have, and it just slips out of his mouth and he regrets it instantly when he sees hurt flicker in his eyes.

He knows, on some logical level, that might not be the case, but it is the first idea he had when he less than gracefully dodged his question. His mind got stuck on the possibility of it, like a broken record.

He knows there is at least a couple of more or less valid reasons why he would be less than thrilled to bring him home. His addiction definitely is one, and while Carlos has never made him feel ashamed or belittled, or generally worse about his past with substances, he has only offered his unconditional support and love, he guesses it could potentially be some sort of red flag for his parents.

Carlos cups his face with his whole palm and his touch is comforting and gentle. His eyes shine with determination. “Never,” he says, simply, but his voice is full of conviction. ”I’m sure my parents would love you.”

Hearing those words makes the knot in his stomach loosen up a bit, but the confusion still remains. It’s a bigger relief than he could have imagined that he isn’t ashamed of him, but he is officially all out of explanations for his behaviour.

“Okay,” he breathes out, and he knows he promised not to pressure him, but his curiosity is raising its head. “Then what is it?”

Carlos bites the inside of his cheek. “It’s nothing bad. They’ve never been anything but supportive, but I have never brought anyone to meet them,” he admits, quietly, as he holds his gaze. “My sisters have only brought those home who they ended up marrying.”

“Oh,” he says, half-involuntarily.

“Yeah,” he agrees with a lopsided smile. “They are not the meddling type when it comes to our love lives. They always said we need to do our own mistakes and choices, but we should always bring home those we are deadly serious about.”

He blinks, but he cannot help but think that his parents sound lovely, and he blatantly chooses to ignore all the other implications of his words, because he senses he might still have something to say.

“And it’s really nice that you want to meet them, and I’m serious about you, but if I introduce you to my parents, it’s basically the Reyes equivalent of proposing, and I guess it’s still a little too early for that,” he finishes, gently, as he runs his thumb along his jawline, and letting his hand drop to the space in between them.

“True,” TK agrees with soft but short laughter.

They have been officially together almost five months, and he knows that he already loves Carlos more than he has ever loved anyone else, but he already did the mistake of trying to rush into more serious parts of the relationship once, and he doesn’t want to repeat the same mistakes with him.

He kisses him softly on the lips. “You’re the only one I have ever even considered to introduce,” he admits, in a whisper, against his lips.

It takes him a moment to even comprehend what he is saying, and he cannot help but stare him in awe. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he says with a smile that’s so wide that it makes his nose scrunch and lights up his eyes. “And I’m pretty sure I’ll take you there one day, if you let me.”

His heart keeps fluttering, and he feels more content than he has in ages. He knows it’s still early in their relationship, but he loves the fact that they can nowadays casually drop references to their shared future without second guessing anything, and he definitely sees a future with him.

“It sounds fun,” he says, with a lazy attempt at shrugging.

He huffs, amusedly. “It’s going to be a whole thing. My sisters want to meet you, and they, with my parents, will ask a lot of questions, and it is sort of intense because the whole intentions with the relationship have been laid out, and it suspiciously reminds a third-degree interrogation disguised as a family dinner, but it’s all done out of love.”

“That’s sweet,” he replies, as he as he curls his fingers around his hand that lies in-between their pillows. “I’m sorry for jumping the gun with this one.”

Carlos shakes his head. “You couldn’t possibly have known what kind of system my family has created. It’s a bit ridiculous and a lot, but it’s fun.”

“Sounds like it,” he says, as he traces vague patterns against the back of his hand with his thumb.

He blinks a couple of times, slowly and lazily. “And you know, I haven’t kept you or us as a secret. They know about you. They have known since the beginning.”

“You have told them about me?” TK asks, little dumbfoundedly, which is ridiculous because days ago he was ready to meet them, and now he is almost surprised they know he exists.

He gives him a pointed look. “We talk about everything important. And I told my mom, which means they all know by now.”

TK huffs amusedly. His family sounds warm and loving, and he really likes the idea of a big family. He has only ever had his mom and dad, and his extended family is small too, and he has always wondered what it is like to be surrounded and loved by so many people. Now, he has his crew, so he sort of understands what it feels like to have siblings and that amount of love, but he is glad Carlos has that kind of family around him.

“We can take this as slow as you want,” TK adds, gently, “there’s no rush.”

It feels important that he knows it. He knows that since their more than slightly rocky start, Carlos has let him set the pace of their relationship, and he has been grateful for it because he needed the slowness and the space in the beginning, but he has noticed that he is still a bit careful around him when it comes to big milestones.

He cannot blame him, but he has tried to show him that he is not going to get spooked by love declarations or other milestones, but he also wants that he knows that he can set the pace, too. They don’t have to hurry anywhere.

“And you know, I’m serious about this, too,” he continues and squeezes his hand tighter.

He is all in. He would try and rearrange the stars for him, if it made him happy, and he knows that all relationships require work. He has had first row seats to the crash-and-burn ending of his parents’ marriage and he knows it ended because they stopped making effort, and he doesn’t want that to happen to them.

So, he has made the silent promise for himself to keep making effort and keep choosing him every day, whatever that means with each passing day. He has managed to honour that promise so far, and he would like to keep it that way.

His smile is warm as he presses a kiss on his forehead. “I know and I’m sorry I made you think I was embarrassed of you.”

“I—it was more the context, or the lack of it than anything else,” TK breathes out.

“I should have told you immediately,” he says, sounding almost rueful, “but I didn’t know how to say that of course I came to your dad’s remission party but if you meet my parents, they will start looking for wedding venues.”

He sputters out a small laugh. “Tough situation, I gotta admit.”

They haven’t really talked about marriage before. He knows he has been partly avoiding the topic because of his failed proposal with Alex, but the thought of it and long-term commitment no longer fill him with dread and anxiety. It has slowly become something to sort of look forward to. With him, especially.

He cannot blame him for not wanting to bring it up in the middle of a crowded firehouse, because he has never clearly indicated how he feels towards marriage in general. Carlos couldn’t have predicted his reaction and he is grateful that they get to have this conversation in private.

“The point still stands.”

He never wanted him to feel guilty over this and he definitely understands where he was coming from with the evasion techniques.

“No, it’s fine,” TK reassures, kissing his fingers, “I just got stuck in my own head, that’s all.”

He might have been projecting a little with his explanations and guesses. Sure, they had been all shots in the dark, but he has wondered once or twice when Carlos is going to realise that he wants something else, something better, than what he can offer.

“You’re amazing and there’s nothing I wouldn’t love about you,” he says, continuing with the impossibly soft tone he sometimes uses when he is feeling particularly sentimental, and maybe he melts a little every time he uses it, even though it makes him feel vulnerable, but in the best way possible.

He has never heard him use that tone for anyone else, and he would be lying if he said it doesn’t make him feel special.

“Oh, wow, you really are on a roll,” he says, attempting to joke, because his whole body feels so full of love and affection and he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“Proper apologies require big words,” Carlos offers, innocently, as if he didn’t know what he is doing to him, but the mischievousness and amusement shine through his small smile.

He rolls his eyes, fondly. “I think I forgave you ages ago.”

Carlos lets go off his hand but picks it immediately with his other hand and holds it just as gently and slides his other hand to rest on his hipbone. He runs his fingers against the waistband of his boxers. “So, we are good?”

He bites his lower lip, but he still grins as brightly as he can. “Definitely.”

“Good,” he whispers before he kisses him.

The kiss is all hunger and want, and it definitely sparks the familiar flutter in his stomach, as always, but he isn’t done talking so he pulls ever so slightly away. “So, you think we are still in the honeymoon phase?” He asks laughing, looking up to his eyes, but his gaze darts back to his lips.

“Maybe.”

He is in love. Ridiculously, irrevocably in love with him, and he has experienced the honeymoon phase in his previous relationships, and he is witnessing his parents having their own, but he has never had a relationship where it would have lasted almost half a year.

He is convinced all relationships go through that stage, but he is also certain that people grow out of it differently. Some immediately fall out of love and end up sooner or later into disaster, but then there are those who fall in love more deeply.

His theory is half based on the fact that he has never seen a man who would love his wife more than Judd does, and he also knows that Grace loves him back just as much. The remaining half of his theory bases on them.

TK has noticed he keeps falling in love with him every day and in a million different ways. When he stumbled back to the apartment few days ago and saw Carlos on the stairs, his heart almost burst out of affection and adoration, despite the fact that it was completely shattered at that point.

It’s the little things, and he tries to provide him those tiny things too, and he is convinced their love grows and regenerates in time, and he guesses that is no longer part of the honeymoon stage, despite the fact that he is still head over heels in love with him, and even just seeing him in the middle of the shift makes him ridiculously happy.

“Have you considered the possibility,” TK says slowly, cupping his chin with one hand, “that maybe this isn’t a phase, but just the way we are.”

Their faces are so close to each other that if he moved even an inch closer, their lips would be meeting again.

He searches something from his eyes but breaks into a delighted grin. “It’s a real possibility.”

**Author's Note:**

> 2x02 was an amazing episode and definitely one of my favourites so far and I got the small idea of this and I wanted to write it. The title is from a love poem called ad lesbiam by catullus, and it means give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred. All the mistakes are mine and I hope you liked this!


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